august 3rd, 2025

Hi it's been a long while since i updated this site, i kinda abandoned it because it didn't look the way i completely wanted it to which is a pretty shallow reason. i still hate the layout for this diary section, also the way i named it diary is quite dumb.. mainly out of embarassment since people can be quite mean. i still have no idea what to talk about, i mean my life is quite dull and empty each day, which i guess is why im kinda excited for school to start, but im also not considering the new found discoveries ive made over the summer regarding the people i have considered friends.. i wouldn't want to go into full detail for respect of people who i apparently have problems with, but if you know i'm sad recently, i probably have not told you why. one of the reasons is just because summer has felt lonely ever since the loss of the 3 friends i once had, well i guess i still have one of them but it all feels quite hollow now, you might think jeez 3 friends, whats her deal? i wish i knew the answer considering i never even knew one of them disliked me they just kinda stopped talking to me and i found out they'd regularly blast my business which hurts me alot because they were one of my bestest friends. and the other one, oh well i don't mind he was quite odd, if you know you know. anyway, other than that i sometimes see my best friend. last time was a mess though. if im being completely honest i had a cart and it stopped working, i dont really tell people i have one/smoke because i dont wanna seem less than to them, and i dont do it everyday. just every 2 weeks or so. and ive only ever had One. as if that makes it any better but whatever right? anyways it died but i was so bored and was having a crappy night 'cause i stay stressing over random shit and i found out i could twist the oil apart from the battery. i've always heard that eating it gets you high, so i was like whatever can't be that bad right. i proceeded to take like 5 scoops from my toothpick and leave it under my tongue for a while. i didn't feel anything for the next 2 hours and eventually came to the conclusion maybe it didn't work for this specific oil since it's not really meant to be eaten. No. as my friend was going to sleep it hit me and i was feeling awful, nausea through the roof and i could barely even think straight without being in such a panic. eventually i fell asleep and i never slept so much in a day. i woke up at 4pm (still feeling high)and brushed my teeth and ate and slept again until 8 when i needed to go home. and then slept even more until 3am and slept again and woke up at one pm the next day. then i slept more throughout the day. my parents assumed i was sick or something and my mom made a comment how i probably have like low iron or something and maybe thats true but it definitely was not the reason why i was sleeping so damn much... i havent really told anyone except sarah cuz well she was there and this little online friend i have named alexandra bye. i jjust wanted to let that off my chest so whoever of my friends read this Hi i would appreciate it if you dont judge or see me differently... and no im never ever doing anything that has to do with weed AGAIN out of pure terror.